Lone Woman Proud of Her Body

I am going to venture into a controversial subject so hold onto to your bottles of anti-wrinkle cream and Botox appointment cards. The opinion given in this blog is mine and obviously subject to my personal experiences so if you feel you might be offended turn back now! Now that the disclaimer has been said I have to get something off my chest;What is up with all the women suddenly obsessed with changing thier bodies?!?!? I have a hard time comprehending why so many woman are so obviously disgusted with their apperances. I use strong words like disgusted because there must be strong feelings attached to the decision to voluntarily undergo surgury and the pain that must be endured. I am not refering to women who have reconstructive surgury because of breast cancer or other medical needs that dictate this type of surgury. I only refer to women who look in the mirror and see ugly and not beauty because it does not look like they are twenty something or like the image the media portrays. I tell you my body housed two growing babies at one time and breastfeed them for six months. When I look in the mirror I do not see the little girl or young woman I was instead I see a woman who gave birth. I gave BIRTH!!! Let me say that again I GAVE BIRTH! I am proud of my stretchmarks, bumps, and otherwise newly angled breasts. I am proud of the body God used to give me the best gifts I could only dream of; Megan and Matthew. I am proud of the body that fed and sustained Megan and Matthew for six months after their birth. I am proud of who I am because I know what I look like does not define me. My Lord and Saviour defines me. I feel like a lone woman in a sea of nose jobs, breast implants, and Botox injections and I wonder where did the days of growing old gracefully go? I feel so strongly that every part of my body is like a wonderful portrait painted by the perfect creator making me"fearfully and wonderfully made". To change any little thing would be like taking a part of God's gift to me and throwing in the trash like a spoiled child, unsatisfied with my gift and only wanting more. There are days I complain of body parts not being as firm as they used to be or I have been known to do the arm lift test to see the affects of gravity but I am so grateful for my life, my children, and all my blessings that the world sees as ugly but I see as a reflection of God. I was made in His image.

My firsts

I am venturing forth into new territory and oh how my faith is being tested. I am one of those who like the same old routine, the same old friends, the same ole anything and everything but the Lord has decided that the fall of 2008 will be all new. One first is this will be our first year homeschooling. My husband and I felt that the Lord called us to homeschooling our twins for the elementary years and maybe beyond. We are committed to only one year of homeschooling at a time because we will follow where the Lord leads and I have NEVER presumed to know His plans. Pro 16:1 "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD." Our goal is to give our children the best foundation academically and spiritually. I love the verse from Proverbs 15-16 that says "My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right." My hearts desire is for my children to stand firm in the knowledge of truth; to know that there is right and wrong; there is the truth and there are false beliefs. This is a monumental task to which I can only say "Lord, give me strength." My princess is a mirror image of me both in appearances and in attitude and frankly I am scared. My little man is all boy; full of wiggles and a sense that everything must be investigated, bounced, taken apart, and destroyed. This shall be interesting!
My second First is something that every Christian struggles with, being able to step up and go where God leads. It is easy to pray quietly for Gods direction while conviently tucked away in the santuary of your home but it is an entirely different thing to listen when you feel His quiet nudges. My husband and I felt lead by the Lord to accept an offer to lead our churchs Awanas program. This is one of the largest outreaches our churchs offers, besides vacation bible school and youth programs, to children ranging in ages three to thirteen. The already existing program boasts an attendance on average of seventy to eighty children every Wednesday. God has blessed this program through many years and my feverent prayer is that His blessing still be on us as we go into another year of reaching children for His glory. Oh, did I mention I am terrified of speaking to large groups. I can talk to anyone in a social setting but put an agenda or microphone in my face and I freeze. This where I have learned to put my entire faith in Psalms 18 verse 2 "The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." My fear has been replaced with joy for the coming year and joy for the hard work before me; God is good, God is so good to me.
I am so grateful to have a Lord who loves me, who wraps me in grace and mercy, who is beyond anything I can imagine, and who is the one I love above all else. My heart sings to the one who created me and who sustains me. He will carry me through all my Firsts and I pray that I will show humility and give him all the praise all the time.